What I was told

So, things are crazy these days. Will Smith bitch slapped Chris Rock. At the Oscars.

On a strangely unrelated topic that somehow fits…

I was also told something tonight that made so many things come together regarding the last three or four months. Someone involved themselves in my life in ways that crossed many boundaries, not for just myself but for someone else. It was done with fake sympathy, and false friendship.

A lot of what I have written in my book has to deal with decisions we have made at crossroads of our lives. A zig when it should have been a zag. That left turn at Albuquerque. It’s a theme about how we make choices that affect us for life. I was blindsided because it turns out someone took it upon themselves to make that decision for me. Not just for me, but someone else too. They took that away from us, even if the natural end result was already on the horizon. It was still our choice. Until it wasn’t.

What was said is unforgiveable. It was something said out of jealousy and manipulation, going back decades. When they admitted what they had done, I blocked them. And yes, in writing this, the bridge is burning.

I might not have the aplomb of Chris Rock and just taking a hit like that. I’m not above saying “fuck you” to the right people. Even if it took this long to find out who the right one to say it to was. I am gutted tonight, but at least I have closure. I’m not gutted for the decision I made tonight, but from the one that they made for us three months ago. It makes better sense. It isn’t right, but at least it makes sense. I would have expected this from an enemy, but not from an old friend.

They say that when you make good boundaries, you filter out bad people. That icky feeling you get in the pit of your stomach is when your values don’t match with the expectations. Jesus, I’m starting to wonder just how many people are even left in this world to find a connection with. I know I’m far from perfect, but this…I’m still trying to wrap my brain around it.

Maybe now that the piece of the puzzle is in place, I can sleep again.