Throwback to the 2008 Elections

Back when a lot of people encouraged me by laughing at my jokes, I wrote this. 12 years ago. Enjoy.

Dateline 9.11.2008. Clinton A. Harris

Has anyone else been following the Obama/McCain pig lipstick controversy?  Yeah, me neither.  But the whole thing rang some bells, deep in the back of my subconscious.  Obama’s “putting lipstick on a pig” comments (and McCain’s comment last year, which was 100% the same) reminded me of something I haven’t heard for many years.

At the DNC, Obama was reported to have said in criticism of the Bush Administration’s involvment in the Middle East, “The Golden Rule: He who has the gold, makes the rules.”

McCain responded indirectly at the RNC with “I’m going to give Mr. Obama a choice.  Either put on these glasses, or start eating that trashcan.”

When his announcement to use Sarah Palin as his VP running mate, Obama was reported to have said, “You dirty motherfucker!” when John McCain tried to punch him in the groin.

Sarah Palin stood with her family and addressed the crowd at the RNC with “Brother, life’s a bitch…and she’s back in heat!” Later on Tina Fey repeated the line with an inexplicable Minesotan accent.

Joe Biden said, “The feeling is definitely there. It’s a new morning in America… fresh, vital. The old cynicism is gone. We have faith in our leaders. We’re optimistic as to what becomes of it all. It really boils down to our ability to accept. We don’t need pessimism. There are no limits. “

In support of Obama, Hilary Clinton said, “What’s wrong with having it good for a change? Now they’re gonna let us have it good if we just help ’em. They’re gonna leave us alone, let us make some money. You can have a little taste of that good life too. Now I know you want it, hell everybody does.”

But even further back, when Obama was picked as the nominee, Nancy Pelosi offered her thoughts on the Party’s choice over Hilary Clinton. “Obama, you’re okay.  This one, real fuckin’ ugly. Looks like her face fell in the cheese dip back in 1957. ”  She seemed happy with the decision.

Then McCain was recently quoted in his address to Associate Press when he said “I am here to chew bubblegum and kick ass.  And I am all out of bubblegum.”

What’s even stranger, is that spokesmen from both parties were quoted on their choices of candidates, ” What’s the threat? We all sell out every day, might as well be on the winning team. “

In a non-sequitor announcement at a White House press conference, George W. Bush said, “I got news for ’em. There’s gonna be hell to pay. ‘Cause I ain’t Daddy’s little boy no more.”

It’s WEIRD.  I have heard all of this before!  It reminds me of the Reagan administration when he said, “Go ahead punk, make my day.”  Later, he developed the Star Wars Defense Initiative, and was later sued by LucasFilm for $11 Trillion dollars.

I still haven’t quite got it figured out where I have heard all of this before, but I’ve walked a white line my entire life, I’m not going to screw that up.  But the white line’s in the middle of the road and that, my friends, is the worst place to drive.

Maybe it’s just politics, and after awhile everything sounds the same.

Just between you and me, I really shouldn’t get this kind of encouragement. 😉